Don't ask for whom the griefer label fits, it fits for thee.
When you say, I don't get why you people do/think/believe/want
- I get that you haven't made a sincere effort to try to understand
- I get that you freely misrepresent the "other side" to make your points
- I get that you are interested in advocating your viewpoint, not discerning greater truth
And I get that I do the same damn thing.
The more I think about the question of griefers and trolls, the more I'm becoming sensitized to the way we all suffer internally from the very same qualities we disdain in others.
We express it publicly in blogs and social networks when we respond to others' thoughts in order to attack rather than to understand. We express it privately in conversations when we smugly point out the stupidity, immorality, wrong-headedness or other undesirable qualities of another group or individual.
As a matter of fact, I'm doing it right now. So, I'll shut up and leave you with St. Francis' prayer of peace:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
when there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.