Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why You Should Never Argue With Me

I'm Just Sayin'

I've done a pretty good job of avoiding virtual drama and flame wars over the course of my life. (With a few notable exceptions. You know who you are.) But in October of 2010 I had a breakthrough that changed my life. I realized that I didn't really care whether I convinced anyone of anything. I might care about the issue. I might care about its outcome. But I don't care about changing any particular person's mind. That freed me to have fun instead of getting mad. To play instead of fight. And to graciously admit when I'm wrong. So if you want a dramatic argument, I warn you that my Dummy-Do martial artform is impervious. 
I'm guessing that those who saw this image yesterday without the accompanying explanation probably interpreted my meaning a little differently. :D

8 comments:

Stroker Serpentine said...

Good for you! I had the very same ephiphany recently with a 50th birthday! It's quite liberating actually. I'm here to have fun. F*>H8R's and zombies. You go Botgirl!

Imnotgoing Sideways said...

You'd be amazed how much someone will put up a fight when they hear "I think you're wrong." (^_^)

I'm not sure what they actually hear, but, they put a heroic effort behind correcting... Whatever. (O.o)

Dividni Shostakovich said...

To the best of my knowledge, the first "recorded" argument with a dummy -- well, strictly speaking a puppet -- is in Ben Jonson's play "Bartholomew Fair." The dummy won, of course. Spectacularly. The scene is hilarious and should be required reading for ideologues, their opponents, and anyone else who wanders by. :-D

Naiki Muliaina said...

How can you possibly sleep at night while someone on the internet is WRONG!

http://xkcd.com/386/

^^

Wizzy Gynoid said...

i think you're wrong. Wisdom is knowing when to take action. Sometimes it is necessary, otherwise where would we be if we let everything get by? Wisdom also points the way to the balanced response. i think even the dalai lama would agree with taking this middle path. ;-)

Botgirl Questi said...

Storker: Thanks. Although age doesn't guarantee wisdom, we can use all the time we can get :)

Imnotgoing: I think some people enjoy the adrenal rush and the associating feelings.

Dividni: I need to find that. Sounds great!

Naiki: Yeah. I love XKCD. Thanks!

Wizzy: I agree with you. My idea is about choosing battles where I can have a substantive effect, and then be creative about how to elicit change. Also, to not let my own emotional baggage get tied into the current situation that has nothing to do with it.

Skylar Smythe said...

Making no ripple... means living a life devoid of affect.

The journey is a peaceful straight uninterrupted line. Like an EKG ... oh wait! That means you are dead right?

Never mind.

[grin]

Skylar

Botgirl Questi said...

Skylar: Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

:)

I'm obviously all for stirring shit up! But from what I've seen and experienced, the virtual bar fights that erupt on social networks and in comments section don't have any impact on the underlying issues. They're usually more about the participants' underlying psychological baggage than the supposed topic of discussion. They do more to inflame than to inform. Their appeal to everyone else is on the level of watching reality television. They don't work to change anything related to the actual issue. Instead, each person ends up trying to just prove themselves as more righteous to the imagined onlookers.

The challenge is to not let ourselves confuse personal dramatics with change-making.