Monday, April 18, 2011
Why I Dumped My Personal Facebook Account For a Fictional Character Page
She tagged me in photos I didn't appear in just to make me look. She added me to an endless deluge of spam groups that flooded my gmail inbox. She begged me relentlessly to play stupid games and kept my news badge blinking like a strobe light with a constant flow of event invitations. Blah. Blah. Blah.
I hear what you're thinking. I do take some of the blame. Okay. Maybe even most of the blame. It's always been a marriage of convenience. I never loved her. I never even really like her. I just wanted to use her for her connections. But I couldn't handle them. The never ending flood of Photoshopped avatar faces and the mind-numbing cacophony of trivial chatter was too overwhelming.
Finally, on Friday, I pulled the plug. I took the irreversible step of converting my personal account to a business page and claimed my true nature as a fictional character. Even though I lost my Facebook history and every single post, link, photo and video I'd ever shared; even though many of my 1,971 friends would spurn the new one-sided relationship and unlike my new page; it was the right thing to do.
So now that I'm available, come out and see me sometime.