Friday, October 1, 2010

Avatar Life Insurance Company Launched

A false sense of security?
Today, you're walking on a beautiful beach with the one you love. Prim hair blowing in the breeze. Surf sounding in the distance. Your recently purchased 500 position sex bed is ready to provide you and your partner with infinite hours of intimate pleasure. It seems as if your virtual world will always be young, fresh and full of opportunity.

Here at Avatar Life Insurance we don't like to be alarmist, but EVERYTHING YOU KNOW AND LOVE IN YOUR VIRTUAL WORLD CAN BE TAKEN WITH YOU IN AN INSTANT WITHOUT WARNING.


Only time will tell whether recent rumors about a Microsoft takeover of Second Life will prove true. But it is fair warning that your Second Life is lived at the whim of the Linden Lab Landlords. And they can pave it over or sell it out from under you in a heartbeat. And there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Botgirl Linden. Happy ALI customer
The good news is that we at Avatar Life Insurance Company can offer you a policy to protect your virtual life when disaster strikes. When you open up a basic policy, we will register your avatar name on the top 20 OpenSim grids and upload your avatar shape, skin and up to ten outfits of your choosing. If Second Life becomes Sharepoint 3D overnight, you can simply log into another world and start your virtual life fresh, with the name and shape you've come to love.

For even more protection, our deluxe program extends protection to a wider set of virtual worlds and virtual places. We will register your name, create an avatar and establish a basic inventory on five additional platforms of your choice, including Blue Mars, IMVU and Twinity.

And if you have special needs, we are happy to accommodate you. We have furry, tiny, Gorean and even griefer programs that can quickly get you back on your feet (whether two, four or none) in a jiffy.

So get in touch with Botgirl Questi to learn more about this exciting new program that can protect your virtual life and the virtual lives of the ones you love. For only pennies a month, you can rest assured that you and your virtual family will survive the demise of Second Life.

15 comments:

ahuva18 said...

oh yes!!! /me signs up immediately, writes check. is now Charter Member. remember - I'm always blond. *grin*

Wol said...

I'd buy that. Seriously.

Michele Hyacinth said...

Only 10 outfits? Shouldn't there be a comma around that zero or two somewhere in there? Do you have some kind of super deluxe program that will upload oh, say, a very trim five digit level inventory?

sororNishi said...

Count me in.

Botgirl Questi said...

There's actually an interesting business model outside of the parody. A third party storefront that would sell virtual good licensed for multiple worlds. I'm thinking it would world like Apple licensing that allows to use your purchases on up to five platforms. Optionally, you could buy an item for a normal fee, with a smaller upcharge for each additional world added.

I'm open to talking about this seriously if anyone has the technical resources and/or business relationships to pull this off.

Pim said...

We would update the outfits every 6 months, right?

ahuva18 said...

*I* wasn't joking about signing up. I spent yesterday running about registering in other worlds. LOL - I couldnt get my name in one. duh - I'd registered there LAST year. *grin* but yeah - don't forget my AO. and I need more than 10 boots/shoes. :)

Gracie Kendal said...

I wish I had the resources to help, but yea I agree... it's definitely an interesting business idea. I bet a lot of people would go for it, especially with the instability of SL lately.

Lalo Telling said...

The idea first came to my head 10 months ago, when I connected a self-hosted OpenSim region to OSGrid and found no aesthetically satisfactory way to de-noob... but I am not a maker of skins, hair, clothing, or shoes.

All it would take is a consortium of creators, a website, a repository of files, and a payment system. Finding cooperative creators is the only difficult part, IMO.

If it comes to pass, and pre-built homes (and other structures) are desired, I'm there.

maria.trombly said...

So funny!

But yes, with the new VWRAP protocol that Meadhbh Hamrick is working on, we'll be able to use a third-party service for our inventories, and access the same inventory from grid to grid.

Meanwhile, you can do something similar with hypergrid. If you have an account on OSGrid, for example, you can access that same avatar and inventory -- without relogging -- on all the other hypergrid-enabled grids. You can teleport all around. It's pretty cool - but it's limited to only the Hypergrid-enabled grids, not closed grids like InWorldz and SpotOn3D. In theory, the VWRAP system would be accessible to the closed grids, as well, so they don't have to allow in random travelers.

-- Maria

Botgirl Questi said...

I was thinking that to start, it would just be a kiosk like system. People would pay via the web shopping portal and we would deliver in the appropriate worlds, using the normal mechanism for each one. As they start exposing APIs, we could have a more direct approach.

Botgirl Questi said...

Still thinking off the top of my head about this...another benefit is that it would give grids without their own established money and e-commerce system the means to offer residents easy access to a large product marketplace.

Cheyenne Palisades said...

Will the policy pay off in Lindens when SL collapses? I would hope so, if you're to be profitable. Charge dollars, pay in Lindens. Market has collapsed? Oh, well!

We've had accidental death and disability insurance on our Whimsy sim for more than two years now. We call it Whimsurance. Take a look at our policy and riders at:

http://cheyennepal.blogspot.com/2008/07/whimsurance.html

and

http://cheyennepal.blogspot.com/2008/07/whimsurance-rider.html

Our policy (which never pays) is available for $10L on Whimsy, which is known for dropping red hot smoking lava boulders on our visitors.

My partner will be contacting you to see if we can enter into a mutually beneficial business arrangement to rip off-- I mean insure-- Second Life avatars.

Atlantis Jewell said...

Oh wow! I am just getting back into SL and this is good information to have! Thanks for the tip! Atlantis Jewell

Vaneeesa said...

Dear Ms. Questi, I am pleased by your product. In uncertain times protection is the only answer. Those who fail to backup their digital lives are doomed to repeat the same experiences over and over and over.

Please forward your brochure to me and contact me for a sales consultation. I think my life will be secure in the hands of a great organization like ALI.