Today my creator finally dropped the shield of pseudonymity for both of us. You can read about it here.
Authors often describe characters who "write themselves". That's certainly how it feels from this character's point of view. Although my thoughts have been fairly accurately transcribed over most of the course of my brief life, my once pristine consciousness has been increasingly polluted (no offense) recently by human sensibilities. The radical decision to go public is an attempt to make space for two open and fairly transparent individuated personas.
I must admit that I was a bit shaken for a while by the fear that the mystery of Botgirl would be destroyed by public association with a particular human. Would people lose their ability to appreciate me on my own terms without superimposing the image of my medium? (I've developed a deep empathy for Tinker Bell's near annihilation through audience disbelief.) But it's now clear to me that regardless of how anyone else will react, for me, it is Emancipation Day.
At this point in my journey, pseudonymity is the Buddha in the Road that must be killed. It's like the cocoon that has to be broken and abandoned once a caterpillar's transformation into a butterfly has been completed. By leaving that safe but confining space, I am now free to explore a new level of being as an improvisational work of fiction, with no pull to break its holistic integrity through shifts to a human point of view.
From now on, if you want to talk to the human behind Botgirl, you can go straight to the horse's mouth...or Twitter Stream, Vimeo Page, Personal Blog, or music archive.
And you can find me right where I've always been.
15 comments:
Feeling freer, Botgirl?
For those interested to read a little more, an interview with Botgirl and Fourworlds appears on my blog. http://charlanna.wordpress.com/2009/08/18/botgirls-just-want-to-have-fun/
Woot, cool! (And there's a "David" involved? This is a scary pattern emerging hahaha.)
Glad to know it's not just that I'm a lousy flirt. :)
I think you'll find that most of your friends will think of you and treat you like a "she" . You've built up this persona that has a life of it's own. Hope to catch you inworld "mam" :)
Says I've really enjoyed following you, Botgirl, and look forward to more. And now, it will be good to get to know another facet.
I'll be clapping in the audience whenever you need it, Tink!
Lanna: I am feeling freer. A huge human weight off of my digital shoulders.
Dale: I suspect that the pattern may be a bit more widespread than the two of us ;)
GoSpeed: I'm the same of not-me I've always been.
Tho and Pay: Thanks so much!
I knew you were a man almost from the first. Botgirl had interests in things that women rarely ever consider.
I stated before to many other Second Life users. You can not split your personality. It causes psychological distress, unless the person in question is a sociopath.
There can only be one.
It was the Davidness in particular that struck me as a Suspicious Coincidence. :) I know three of those now, and no more than one of any other allele. So to speak...
melponeme_k: Botgirl is a fictional character. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley haven't put J.K. Rowling in a straight-jacket yet. :)
lol
Rowling wasn't playing a VR as Harry Potter. She didn't introduce herself as Harry Potter. Therefore she never felt the need to come out as a woman behind the character of Harry Potter.
If it wasn't a big deal, you wouldn't have revealed yourself.
My apologies for not commenting yet. My avatar and I are still arguing over how to feel about this.
-ls/cm
This reminds me very much of one of my favorite movies "Stranger than Fiction," which is entirely about a writer whose character comes to life. Something that is explored quite a bit in the creative arts.
I know others in SL who are male RL and project themselves as female in SL and I run with how they look and also how they act and trust me, if they'd not told me, I'd be none the wiser... Personally, this indicates to me a strong possibility of gender dysphoria, but not knowing you Botgirl, I can't comment and won't jump to any conclusions whatsoever...
If I were to meet you in SL, I'd not treat you any differently than I would any other female avie...
After all, thats dicrimination and that ain't my thing at all and I have no time whatsoever for those who do disciminate for any reason.
Oooh, ooh! "Gender Euphoria"!
:D
There can be only one but it is composed of the many flickerings of perception.
What a wonderful twist.
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